» Blog Archive » Self Esteem…. don’t over complicate it.

Oct 22

Self Esteem…. don’t over complicate it.

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Google ’self esteem’ and you’ll find literally millions of books, articles, cd’s, dvd’s, seminars and workshops. Its hard to know where to start, what to trust, what’s right for you. But really, it doesn’t need to be that complicated. For most of us it’s just a matter of making a few changes to the way we think.

I haven’t always had high self esteem and I’m certainly no expert. It’s taken me 40(ish) years to discover who I am and what I need to do to be truly happy in my own skin. Here’s what I’ve learned in a nutshell….

1. KNOW YOUR VALUES. This is important. Your values determine what’s really important to you deep down. If you’re living by other people’s values then you’ve got it all wrong. Here you will find a list of values. Take the time to write down the ones that are important to YOU. The first time I did this I felt like I truly knew who I was for the first time ever. There it was, crystal clear in front of me. It’s a very interesting exercise so give it a go.
2. BE NICE. Just strive to be a nice, helpful, caring person always. It’s not hard.
3. FORGIVE YOURSELF. You can’t be nice all the time. If you have a bad day, forgive, apologise if necessary and get on with tomorrow.
4. YOU ARE NOT YOUR PAST. Or even yesterday for that matter. Begin each day TODAY.
5. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE. Stop blaming others for where you are. It’s very hard to feel good about yourself if you allow others to control you. If there’s something not right, change it. Find a way. Get help. I know this is often difficult but believe me (I know, I’ve been there) the first step is the hardest. Be brave. The confidence you gain when you get that control back is worth every step.
6. DISREGARD OTHERS DISAPPROVAL. Just dismiss it, you don’t need it. Don’t let it in. It’s not your problem and you’re not going to change who you are and what’s important to you for them. They have no right to expect it.
7. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Believe that you can be the person you’ve always wanted to be. You may not know how yet but you can take the first step, then the second and third. Just believe, make a start, don’t give up and you will slowly uncover and appreciate the unique person that is YOU.
8. REWARD YOURSELF. You are the single most important person in your life. Full stop. A woman’s life is rarely easy. If you do something you’re proud of acknowledge it. Then go out and do it again. Then reward yourself. Then do it again ….
9. EXERCISE. I’ve added this one because regardless of the health benefits I just know I feel so much better about myself when I make the effort. It does something nice to my mind and spirit. Life seems simpler somehow, less stressful, lighter. Definitely.